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Say Something Once, Why Say It Again? by the_league_of_evie
Fandoms: QI (TV) RPF, British Comedy RPF
09 Nov 2025
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They say of the Acropolis, where the Parthenon is, that there are no straight lines. At least, that’s what Stephen would be graciously informing that day’s QI panel of, if he could bally well keep his tongue in check.
The lot of them tease - of course they do, they are comedians after all. But it’s Alan who surprises Stephen the most.
And at the end of it all, when the lights are down and the personas are stripped, there’s going to be a price to pay…
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There Are No Straight Lines by the_league_of_evie
Fandoms: QI (TV) RPF, British Comedy RPF
03 Nov 2025
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In which Stephen Fry is leaving QI for good, and as the wrap party gets underway, Stephen realises that something - or someone - is missing…
Where in the bloody hell is Alan?
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Alan gets drunk at a wrap party and Stephen accidentally starts a new tradition.
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They Say Of The Acropolis, Where The Parthenon Is… by knives_and_spoons for a_snipers_nightmare
Fandoms: British Comedy RPF, QI (TV) RPF
27 Sep 2025
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A small insight into a strange, new love, as told through 9 snapshots. Each as dearly treasured as the last.
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Late nights loosen tongues. Jo broaches a sensitive topic.
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Alan meets Stephen for the first time in years. He wants a repeat of what they used to have, but Stephen isn't sure Alan is his type anymore.
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David’s at a new school, where he’s having the same old problems. He has no friends, he doesn’t like his teachers (and the feeling is mutual), and he has a bullying problem that also seems to go both ways. It’s not that he doesn’t know how to stand up for himself. It’s quite the opposite, rather.
He doesn’t seem to know when to shut the fuck up. And it’s long since become a problem.
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you kicked and cried like a bullied child (a grown man of twenty-five) by knives_and_spoons
Fandoms: British Comedy RPF, Only Connect RPF, QI (TV) RPF
22 Oct 2024
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“Please, Victoria. I need you,” Alan says, not waiting for her to respond. Begging for her is almost nicer than having her on his lips, his face, his cock.
Day 22 - Begging
Series
- Part 17 of Knives’ Kinktober 2024
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like love and law and poverty (these are the things that kill me) by knives_and_spoons
Fandoms: British Comedy RPF, QI (TV) RPF
20 Oct 2024
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It’s difficult to answer when all the blood is rushing down from his head, and instead pooling in between his legs. Alan can feel the floor sway beneath him, fuzzy black spots slowly encroaching on his vision.
Day 20 - Breathplay
Series
- Part 16 of Knives’ Kinktober 2024
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Bruce Wayne: The TV Special by Nocturnal_Daydreams
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF
14 Oct 2024
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Bruce Wayne gets badgered by his kids to take part in Taskmaster while Kiteman is ill.
Brucie Wayne struggles to dampen his need to win.(Based on that one tumblr post)
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learn to love me (and assemble the ways) by knives_and_spoons for a_snipers_nightmare
Fandoms: British Comedy RPF, QI (TV) RPF
04 Oct 2024
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“Good boy,” Stephen says, a laugh tinting his voice with a joyous sound. It resonates deep within Alan, warmth flooding through his bones. He mumbles something, but his efforts are futile as his words jumble into senseless moans.
Day 4 - Praise Kink
Series
- Part 2 of Knives’ Kinktober 2024
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it suddenly struck me; i just might die with a smile on my face after all by knives_and_spoons for a_snipers_nightmare
Fandoms: British Comedy RPF, QI (TV) RPF
11 Aug 2024
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Stephen sighs, and, for a moment, Alan thinks his plan has been foiled. Stephen can see right through him; of course he can! Then, he looks up at Alan, fixing him with a cold stare, blue eyes icy.
“Alan, my dear boy,” he says, so calm and measured and in control. It’s irritating how arousing it is. “I know what you’re doing. Calm down. All you’re doing is wasting breath, energy, and my time.”
- Day 11: Overstimulation
Series
- Part 11 of Knives’ Kinktober in August (2024)
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Alan has a crush on his professor, and it just might be requited.
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Alan is always chewing on his pen, and Stephen chooses the wrong word to address the issue.
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QI Episode C3. Someone else is soaking up all of Stephen’s attention and Alan isn’t happy.
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Stephen is a perfectly adequate pillow.
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To be honest, I have nobody to blame for this other than myself. This was born out of me watching the current series of Taskmaster and then desiring to watch *all* of Taskmaster. As of this writing, I'm on series 2. Also, I fully believe the fact that Alex has been playing the long game with respect to he and Greg's "relationship" since the first ep of the damn show.
So, as a result of this, my brain spat out this nonsense. Forgive me if it is crap for this is the first time I'm writing RPF in a *very* long time, but my Alan and Alex muses refused to shut up. This is un-betaed, so any mistakes (including writing this fic to begin with) are all mine.
As such, I don't own anything and any reference to real life is actually pretty damn awesome (look, you don't fool me for a second, Alex; we all saw what you did during series 1).
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Ranma Saotome has trained in every martial art imaginable.
But is he prepared... for a BBC panel show?
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It is a truth universally acknowledged that whenever a British comedy quiz show has two or more regular participants, there are secret behind-the-scenes agreements involving some sort of correlation between correct answers and post-recording sexual activities.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 257
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 64
- Hits:
- 996
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The thing about trying to out-clever Stephen Fry, Alan thinks, is that it never, ever works.
Series
- Part 2 of letter series
- Part 4 of Abandoned Britcom Snippets