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Chris patted Hugh's shoulder enthusiastically before turning around to face him. "I mean, I'll be back at some point, of course. Of course! I'm not moving out there, or anything. It's just, you know. You know how it is."
For a moment, the urge to come back with something along the lines of I'm not entirely sure that I do was extremely tempting, but only for that moment. Hugh smiled, because he didn't begrudge Chris for this, for any of it; how could he really react in any other way than to be pleased for him, and supportive? Having other work commitments, that was certainly a thing that happened. Having other work commitments in America, that was--... that was definitely something to be celebrated.
And so they had, with Chris visiting Hugh's house partly for that reason, and partly by way of apology. Because it didn't feel like much time had passed since the initial new-teammate rush, bringing in a new dynamic and getting used to it and being happy with it--
Hugh nodded alongside his smile, "I know. We'll be waiting for you...! I'm sure we'll be able to keep your seat warm in the meantime."
"I hope so...! Nothing worse than a cold seat."
--
A few drinks into the evening, Dara leant back against his seat and held up his wallet like an offering. "Wanna make a bet on how long it takes before he comes back?"
"Make it if he comes back, and then I might be tempted."
"Touché."
They didn't need to say any more than that. Either possibility lay there on the table, each feeling just as likely as the other. Dara had seen the look on Hugh's face and said 'it's different this time...!' and it was, but original intent did nothing to change the outcome. Frankie had wanted to leave, and so he'd left. Russell had dressed it up in being busy with his own show, but the seeds had likely been planted before that had even been in the pipeline. Chris still seemed happy with how things were, still seemed happy to take part, he just happened to be busy with something else--... but. All the same, that one possibility still stuck in Hugh's gut as being far more likely than the other.
He's probably not coming back.
--
"Is it, Dara--... is it, how long... have I wanted to tell you that I love you?"
It was a joke, because of course it was. And the audience laughed, which was always a good sign. They'd gone their separate ways once the recording finished, but Hugh couldn't help but notice Ed and Dara leaving together. Not that he expected anything different, not after all this time, but it still felt like something to notice all the same. He knew there was a seam there that ran deeper than he cared to get involved in, but days passed and thoughts and words still stuck in his head, and he met Dara for drinks because that was just how things went, sometimes. Those thoughts and words still stuck in his head, rational thought saying don't say anything and then ignored.
"... I was joking, of course." Hugh spoke as he brought the glass to his lips, passing it off like the most casual of comments. For better or for worse, Dara seemed to take it the same way.
"Of course. It's a comedy panel show, you're not gonna be deathly fuckin' serious sat there makin' declarations of love all of a sudden...!"
It had been a joke and everybody understood that and Hugh knew that he did, which made it that much harder to justify his silence afterward. It was probably a mistake to bring it up in the first place . If he'd never mentioned it, he wouldn't have brought a spotlight to it. Mentioning it just to reiterate the intention behind it, definitely a mistake. Again, Hugh knew that, and wished it wasn't so easy to see the moment that Dara realised it too so clearly on his face. In a way, that reaction felt almost irritating; there had certainly been enough behind-the-scenes relationship drama to last the two of them a lifetime, so why did something like this cause a frown like that ? Compared to some of the stories Dara had had to tell in the past, this was barely even anything. It's really nothing.
"So you're saying... what, exactly?"
"Well, that I was joking, like I said. ...Mostly."
"'Mostly', huh."
"Mm."
"Ed, too."
Hugh glanced up over the rim of his glass. "Hm?"
"He was joking, too. Mostly."
"... Right."
Dara leant forward across the table, sighing slightly. "I mean, if you want to be caught in the middle of that crossfire then that's your business. ...I'm not saying no, I'm just saying, you know... there's things to consider. Byrne-type things. Maxwell-type things."
"To be fair, Dara, I don't think that's changed in the nine years we've been doing this."
"No, you're right." (Hugh wondered if the moment of-- something between regret and exhaustion?-- in Dara's eyes was something he'd entirely imagined.) "... You're right."
Listen to you, though. Talking like you're the only one to get tangled up in anything at all like that over the past decade. The only difference Hugh could really think of was that people like Ed and Andrew had never been regulars - they weren't always around, but then that also meant they were never really in the position to suddenly up and leave, either. Even two years from the hundredth episode, Hugh still thought about the fact that Dara had pointed out, back then. That they were the only two who'd been there since the beginning. It didn't matter who came to the show new, whoever else became a regular - it'd been almost ten years, and that was certainly something. Maybe nothing significant, but still something.
"Do you know what has been four years, though?"
Dara's question felt somewhat unprompted. "What's that?"
"Been four years since we first had Chris on the show."
"Has it really? Gosh. Time does fly."
Maybe that's long enough. Even Frankie had only - 'only' - been on the show for four years. Russell, too. Maybe that's just as long as these things last.
--
"I'm coming back! Just for a bit. We should go for a drink sometime, yes?"
The message came through on Hugh's phone either a bit too late or a bit too early, he hadn't quite committed the difference in timezones to memory just yet. Just as casual and off-handed as Chris ever was, but Hugh still found himself staring at the screen for quite some time before even thinking of how to answer. In the affirmative, of course.
He'd gone, but not entirely. Either oblivious to that particular atmosphere the show seemed to create, or wilfully ignoring it. Why would he need to think about that, though? So many other things to concentrate on. And yet--...
Maybe he'll come back.
(And yet--.)
end